Parenting Discussion

I subscribe to a google blog alert with the key words “intense children”. This helps me know what else in the world web about intense kids because I too like to read up on the subject.

A week or so ago my alert came in and a particular section struck my interest. Unfortunately I’ve lost track of where it is but it was a newspaper letter to the editor or personal commentary from a citizen.

This particular citizen was lamenting over the fact that others had ruined her weekend by all the nasty looks and stares she got while disciplining her child.

She admitted to being a spanking parent but it was unclear as to if she used this particular discipline on the day question but what she did do was haul her 4 year old out to the car and buckled him in (to protect him) while he had a full blown meltdown.

Honestly, I’ve done that. When Dervish was younger his meltdowns were full bore – flailing and kicking and of course, the ear piercing screaming. I would put him in the van and then lean against – where he could see me – waiting for a split second cease fire so that I could ask him if he was ready to calm down. (a way of letting him know what I expected and that I was still paying attention). Often times these episodes would go on for 15 minutes before he got it out of his system and was ready to return to the activity.

There was no swatting, spanking or hitting involved – but I get the impression the woman who was writing to that newspaper had used some physical discipline based on the fact that she kept going on about it and how there was nothing wrong with it and it was the thing that worked for her children and then…. then… the gem of the rant was pointing fingers back at all those of us to choose to raise our children without using physical discipline are the ones with our kids running around like brats, rude and ill behaved and “we” had the gall to condemn her for taking charge of her child.

So, what was the child in question doing to cause this onslaught of discipline? He was throwing chairs.

So, what I want to know, is if spanking your child works so well, why was the child throwing chairs in the first place? How’s it working for you so far?

If only the argument would make some sense. I can even deal with the “that’s how I was raised and that’s how I’ll raise my children”. I can accept a bad parenting moment (you know we all have them!!) but for someone to basically ‘yell’ at the public at large for ruining HER weekend by the bad looks and stares she was getting in the act of ‘discipline’…. it sounded like she ruined her weekend herself.

Anyway, whoever you are, thanks for helping me make my case against spanking children – I can debate until the cows come home on the topic but there was really no need on this occasion.



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